Today I am taking a break from the morning at the gym. Not by choice but because Corey had to go to the VA hospital to have an ultra sound done on his stomach. A few weeks ago he was in such pain that we almost took him to the ER. He was given a Rx that he has been taking every night before dinner and today hopefully we can find out if it is something...or nothing at all.
I sit here drinking my coffee watching little miss watch Nickjr. and I am reminded of so many mornings where all I could bring myself to do was watch my girls. Now, my days are filled with trying to keep the house picked up or driving here or there. It's as if there is not enough hours in the day to satisfy my need to watch my children grow up.
Its not as if I work 40 hours a week outside of my home. My job is caring for my girls and husband. Yes, it is a thankless job and the pay sucks but I am one of the few lucky ones. I need to start remembering that when my frustration level has peeked and all I want to do is scream.
I have watched my father, brother and husband among many other men and women leave their families many times due to their jobs in the military. And, I think many of us lose that when we go through our daily lives. We forget who is out there sacraficing so we can go to the beach or movie theater without a worry.
I got to talk to my sister in law this morning! Its been a few weeks! We had wonderful talks about farming, living primal, and buying whole cows to deep freeze! In addition to the usual talk about husbands and daughters (her and my brother have two little girls as well). I have since found a farm within a few hours that sell whole free range cattle. Ill be able to tell Corey I was productive while he was at the doctors...and I barely left the couch!
I should however at least start the laundry and clean a few things up...I see a dust bunny and dog hair bunny staring at me from under the TV.
stay tuned as you look through my window of life and I look back from the inside looking out
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